Another Bite Of Flash Fiction
An anonymous reader of this blog left a comment on my 'Flash Fiction' post, saying that s/he just didn't get the story and that such writers should get off their high horse and write stuff that people can actually understand. I promised him/her another story from O magazine's collection, so here it is. This is also one of my favourites.
Her Number
By Antonya Nelson
Dear Jim Barr,
You don't know me, but I know you. I was given your old number. It's for a secret cell phone, bought to have a love affair. Sometimes, instead of calls from my lover, I get yours.
Like me, you can't be trusted. The angry woman, for instance, who accuses me and then lets loose her barrage of complaints about you. I can see why you'd abandon this number. Those creditors won't give up either, their flawless Indian-inflected English, the gentle hum of others in the background. like me, you've made some promises you can't fulfill.
You live in my hometown, your area code from the state where I grew up rather than where I live. If my husband discovers this phone in my underwear drawer, tucked awya like a land mine, I can claim it's my mother's.
I looked yo up, Jim Barr, last time I was home, just to see where you live. Not far from my mom's it turns out. You ought to get rid of that broken play pool on your lawn. And the swing set without swings. You got rid of your number, and now it's mine. My lover and I whisper over it persistently. My heart pounds. I want him so furiously.
I'm not you, I tell those clam but persistent 800 operators, them and that angry woman. She is as furious as my husband would be.
This phone is for passion; it ought to be hot to the touch.
Sincerely yours,
404-BAD-RISK
Frankly, if I got such a letter, I'd call Bukit Aman, burn the phone company to the ground and bury land mines under the broken swings. Anonymous, I hope you like this better!
Her Number
By Antonya Nelson
Dear Jim Barr,
You don't know me, but I know you. I was given your old number. It's for a secret cell phone, bought to have a love affair. Sometimes, instead of calls from my lover, I get yours.
Like me, you can't be trusted. The angry woman, for instance, who accuses me and then lets loose her barrage of complaints about you. I can see why you'd abandon this number. Those creditors won't give up either, their flawless Indian-inflected English, the gentle hum of others in the background. like me, you've made some promises you can't fulfill.
You live in my hometown, your area code from the state where I grew up rather than where I live. If my husband discovers this phone in my underwear drawer, tucked awya like a land mine, I can claim it's my mother's.
I looked yo up, Jim Barr, last time I was home, just to see where you live. Not far from my mom's it turns out. You ought to get rid of that broken play pool on your lawn. And the swing set without swings. You got rid of your number, and now it's mine. My lover and I whisper over it persistently. My heart pounds. I want him so furiously.
I'm not you, I tell those clam but persistent 800 operators, them and that angry woman. She is as furious as my husband would be.
This phone is for passion; it ought to be hot to the touch.
Sincerely yours,
404-BAD-RISK
Frankly, if I got such a letter, I'd call Bukit Aman, burn the phone company to the ground and bury land mines under the broken swings. Anonymous, I hope you like this better!
posted by starlight at 7:28 AM
6 Comments:
Hi Stephanie. Thanks for posting this story. I like this much better than Near Taurus. Like the first anonymous commenter in that entry, I didn't get the story at all. I was like Huh? What was that all about?
It's probably a matter of preference but I prefer short stories that have a story to tell (isn't that obvious). Those that ramble on in an abstract manner and causes the reader to think, "am I stupid for not getting the message" - I'd rather pass.
Hi Lydia. Glad you like this better! I share your opinion on short stories and I've given away so many books in which the writers try so hard to be so clever. And will I be reading some flash fiction from you? ;)
I've never tried my hand at flash fiction. Did write a couple of stories but all were rejected by those I sent them to, sob sob. So, I've stopped writing them altogether.
This flash fiction may be more up my alley because I've always laboured over my word count. Let me get my book edit out of the way first, then maybe I'll try my hand at it :)
Starlight, this piece is beautiful. Succint, to the point and mysterious. Almost delicious. You've got me smiling now!!! BTW, I came to your blog via Sharon's blog too.
Hi Anon - glad you like this story! I loved it for its mystery too. And thanks for dropping by.
hi, i'm sorry I didn't get the message, can someone help me?
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