Meditating With My Monkey
It was my first meditation class and I was so terrified of falling asleep that I knocked back an extra shot of caffeine before leaving.
I was nervous. Meditation - or anything to do with being still for over a minute - is my Archille's heel. Which is why I have never had hair treatments, a full body massage or watched Lord of The Rings in the cinema. My mind, as my yoga teacher Parveen eloquently puts it, is like a monkey. Never staying on one branch of thought for a long time.
HOWEVER. Even worse than my Monkey Mind is my extraordinary gift for nodding off anywhere, anytime and often at the worst possible moments. So while the caffeine would probably send that monkey into spasms of hyperactivity, it was better than the humiliation of dropping off to sleep and having that horrible falling dream.
For the first five minutes of class, all six of us sat quietly in a softly lit room, accompanied by the delicate sounds of a flute. The Monkey hummed. I was still very awake and very pleased. Then Parveen padded into the room and softly said, "Today we'll practice a different kind of meditation called sleeping meditation. The challenge here is not only to focus your mind but to keep from falling asleep." In that instant, I knew my caffeine plan was doomed.
But I would not go down without a fight, so I ordered the Monkey to chant a mantra. Perhaps that would keep me awake. As soon as we were flat on our backs, the Monkey obediently began - I will stay awake, I will stay awake, I will stay awake.
I only regained consciousness when Parveen gently asked us to resume our sitting position. The Monkey stretched luxuriously. Then Parveen asked us to imagine a white light shining in the space between our eyebrows. The Monkey began chattering again. Allow the white light to send its rays across your forehead and down to your heart, Parveen said. Unable to visualise this white light for more than five seconds, I decided to focus on another serene image instead. I chose a still lake. My mental eye drank in it's serenity, soaked up the tranquility, swept acoss the landscape, rose to the mountain range behind it, caught sight of two cowboys on horseback...by the time the class was over, I had watched the first half of Brokeback Mountain in my mind's eye. So much for transcending from the physical body into the astral one.
But there's always the second class on Friday, so all hope is not lost just yet.
I was nervous. Meditation - or anything to do with being still for over a minute - is my Archille's heel. Which is why I have never had hair treatments, a full body massage or watched Lord of The Rings in the cinema. My mind, as my yoga teacher Parveen eloquently puts it, is like a monkey. Never staying on one branch of thought for a long time.
HOWEVER. Even worse than my Monkey Mind is my extraordinary gift for nodding off anywhere, anytime and often at the worst possible moments. So while the caffeine would probably send that monkey into spasms of hyperactivity, it was better than the humiliation of dropping off to sleep and having that horrible falling dream.
For the first five minutes of class, all six of us sat quietly in a softly lit room, accompanied by the delicate sounds of a flute. The Monkey hummed. I was still very awake and very pleased. Then Parveen padded into the room and softly said, "Today we'll practice a different kind of meditation called sleeping meditation. The challenge here is not only to focus your mind but to keep from falling asleep." In that instant, I knew my caffeine plan was doomed.
But I would not go down without a fight, so I ordered the Monkey to chant a mantra. Perhaps that would keep me awake. As soon as we were flat on our backs, the Monkey obediently began - I will stay awake, I will stay awake, I will stay awake.
I only regained consciousness when Parveen gently asked us to resume our sitting position. The Monkey stretched luxuriously. Then Parveen asked us to imagine a white light shining in the space between our eyebrows. The Monkey began chattering again. Allow the white light to send its rays across your forehead and down to your heart, Parveen said. Unable to visualise this white light for more than five seconds, I decided to focus on another serene image instead. I chose a still lake. My mental eye drank in it's serenity, soaked up the tranquility, swept acoss the landscape, rose to the mountain range behind it, caught sight of two cowboys on horseback...by the time the class was over, I had watched the first half of Brokeback Mountain in my mind's eye. So much for transcending from the physical body into the astral one.
But there's always the second class on Friday, so all hope is not lost just yet.
posted by starlight at 6:28 PM
2 Comments:
Starlight, I can totally relate. I'm a bit of a monkey myself and can't sit still for too long, if I do, I tend to get sleepy. I'm called the sleepy monkey by some....!!!!!
Looking forward to yoga class tomorrow....maybe it will help me become more focussed???
Uma
it might! but just enjoy your first class! and let me know how it goes. good to know there's someone else with a similar 'monkey-mind disorder' out there!
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